My motivation dumped me.. :(

Okay, real talk time.
I just can't seem to figure out my lifestyle and how to make working out a bigger part of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I consider myself a pretty fit person, but I just plan these monumental goals for myself (that ARE reachable) and I'm the most dedicated, inspired and motivated person EVER...for like 2 weeks. And then I go back to eating saltine crackers and granola bars and telling myself "Oh, you missed this workout, so you can do two tomorrow", until I have missed an entire week of working out. And I literally do this EVERY. TIME. I have tried countless times to just get r' dun, and I seemingly cannot succeed at it.

And I truly am totally realistic about my goals and about my body. I know I will never be a 6 foot tall, 110 pound model, but I know that I can be a very fit, very toned 5 foot, 115 pound girl and I just want to get there SO BADLY. And I have been there, 2 years ago, and I've been struggling to get back there ever since.

I mean, perhaps I expect too much of myself. Because I do expect myself to bring 200% or nothing at all, and that is truly exhausting...and quite frankly, a little unbalanced. I think I need to focus more on balance, rather than weightloss, because the weight will come off when I find something I can maintain.

So I guess for right now, I am ditching my original workout plan (even though it kicked ass) because it clearly isn't feasible in my life right now. I am just going to tell myself to sweat once a day doing SOMETHING..ANYTHING, and eat good foods. I don't have to eat perfect, but I am aware of what is healthy for me and what is not. And yea, a granola bar is not a bad thing to have...until you eat four a day like me.

Anyways, I needed to rant because I am sick and tired of letting myself down. I vow from here on out to live a healthy, balanced life and get HAPPY. I vow to do workouts I enjoy doing, whether that means I feel like I need a 10 minute yoga session, an hour on the treadmill, or to bench press a hippo; and do them often. I have ditched my deadline date and instead hope to see the weight come off in it's own time. And by this time next year, I will be a fit, fabulous new me.

 So there.